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It's My Faulte

Music and Lyric by David W. Jacobsen
Copyright 2022 - 2023. All Rights Reserved.

It's my fault
I know it's true
Bad stuff is caused by what I do
What I do …

I'm sorry about climate change
And how the earth will warm
All of this is happening
Cause I look at porn

Now the world
It is stuck with coronavirus
Cause I find naked women
really quite desirous

It's all my fault
It's all my fault
That guy you hate got elected
Since I went and got erected

It's all my fault
It's all my fault
That four car crash on the boulevard
Sorry that's cause I got hard
It's all my fault

The storm killed all those people
But it wasn't fate
The truth is that that they all died
Cause I masturbate

The environment is really screwed
But it isn't fracking
No the planet's all messed up
Cause of all my whacking

It's all my fault
It's all my fault
Another plane did explode
Since I went and shot my load

It's all my fault
It's all my fault
The wind and rain began a deluge
It continued because of my spouge
It's all my fault

Everyone who's all strung out
Each crack, meth, and smack junkie
I'd cure their addictions
If I didn't spank the monkey

Now all the violence on the street
That guy who just got mugged
The reason is last night
My junk I hugged

It's all my fault
It's all my fault
The economy is in a funk
Cause I went and shot my spunk

It's all my fault
It's all my fault
All those losses there on Wall Street
Well they started when I beat my meat
It's all my fault

And it's not just COVID
There're more ailments that we're stricken
Are you know the reason is
Cause I choke the chicken

Your favorite team well they just lost
In a humiliating route
Cause last night I stayed up late
Just to rub one out

It's all my fault
It's all my fault
Proletariat exploitation
Yeah that's my ejaculation

It's all my fault
It's all my fault
No one died of politics or religion
They're just all gone cause of my jism
It's all my fault

Notes:

This one might go a little too far, but hey, I think it's funny. This is supposed to ridicule a pretty common human tendency to blame our personal failings and vices for clearly unrelated bad things that happen in the world. The song would more effectively get that point across if each verse or chorus detailed a different vice, and that was my original plan for the lyric. However, there are so many euphemisms for what I went with that I made it the whole song. In fact, there are so many ways of saying this one, that there were even more verses than what made the final cut.

From the album Music for the Masses
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