Guitar Guy
Music and Lyric by David W. Jacobsen
Copyright 2014 - 2016. All Rights Reserved.
It's 8:00 on a Tuesday
A couple of bums stumble here
There's some middle aged guy, barely conscious
He's working on his 11th beer
He says, "dude, can you play Dave Mathews
Maybe something by the Doors?"
So I start in with "Love Me Two Times"
But then he passes out on the floor
Sing us a song you're the guitar guy
Sing us a song we know
Though we're not really listening anyway
We've just no better place to go
And Tom at the bar is a bitter floor
But he only charges me half price
He's got lame jokes but he listens to folks
Though please don't take his advice
He says, "man, this place blows I want out of here"
And he looks rather glum and sad
"I'm certain my screen play could make it big"
But it won't, in truth, it's quite bad
Saul sells condos in New York
He's too neurotic to get anyone in the sack
And he's hanging with Arnie, who was in the Army
Before his dishonorable discharge for crack
And the waitress is sleeping with the manager
And the finance guy's doing some blow
They're sharing a drink called desperation
But really it's just a cheap Merlot
Sing us a song you're the guitar guy
Sing us a song we know
Though we're not really listening anyway
We've just no better place to go
It's a dismal crowd for a Tuesday
But the manager doesn't seem to mind
Because I'm not getting paid
And he just got laid by the waitress whose shift ends at 5
The whole place smells like cheap alcohol
It's the most depressing dump in the town
At their drinks they sip, no one leaves me a tip
And they say "man, could you please turn it down"
Sing us a song you're the guitar guy
Sing us a song we know
Though we're not really listening anyway
We've just no better place to go
Sing us a song by the Beatles
Or maybe the Rolling Stones
The only reason that we're even here
Is it's even more depressing at home
Sing us a song, actually never mind
In fact if it's all the same
Do you mind just calling it quits now?
Because we'd all rather watch the game