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Don't You Call Us

Music and Lyric by David W. Jacobsen
Copyright 2023 - 2024. All Rights Reserved.

Don't you call us
We will call you
Don't you call us
We will call you

Thank you so much for your interest in working at Initech. We're excited to know that there are people out there like you who are motivated by our mission. As you can imagine, the application process is highly competitive, and I'm to say that we do not feel the fit is right for this particular position. After reviewing your experience carefully, your background isn't exactly what we're looking for in this specific role, and we are moving forward with other candidates. However, we genuinely appreciate your interest in joining the crew. We're grateful that talented people like you apply, and we know that this process took a lot of time and effort on your part. We really appreciate your kindness in sharing your qualifications and experiences.

Although we are not moving forward at this time, we hope you are open to reconnecting if a position opens up that may be a stronger fit for your candidacy. Our business needs and hiring needs are constantly evolving as our team grows. We encourage you to keep an eye out for future openings which may suit your background, skills, and experience.

Thanks again for your interest in working with us and best of luck on your job search.

Don't you call us
We will call you
Don't you call us
We will call you

You'll get the next one
It wasn't a good fit anyway
Oh I've heard bad things about that place

It's not you, it's them
I bet they had an internal candidate
They felt threatened because you're so good

You're getting closer
It was a bad commute
You'll find something even better

It's really a blessing
You're too good for that place anyway
Everything happens for a reason

Don't you call us
We will call you
Don't you call us
We will call you

Notes:

This was a prog instrumental idea that I decided to use as the background for a job rejection letter. I took multiple rejection letters and combined them. Every sentence was taken almost verbatim from an actual rejection email. I then had my wife recite the kind of things people say to try to make you feel better when you don't get a job you wanted.

From the album A Tree Falls
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